This is everything.

I wish I could feel whole again. 

-I’ve stopped writing, because I feel like shit just got really bad for me, and I didn’t want to whine about shit over the internet. I thought things would get better, but I still feel the same way about life. I’m self conscious as fuck. I’m not satisfied with my job. I have feelings of impending doom. I fantasize about hurting people. But I have to write everything down, regardless of what other people might think. I just use to write all the good things that happened to me. But when shit got real, I stopped because I felt like people were going to judge me, so I let all the negative thoughts float around in my head. Now I just feel crazy, I don’t want to be around people right now, and I hate certain people to the point where I fantasize about hurting them or killing them almost. This is a new start, from the same path I’ve been on for about 11 years. Anything I think about, no matter how graphic or horrific, I will right down. Fuck everyone.